Ain't gonna blog about today..Went school and went home.I don't want tuh mention anything.I don't want tuh think of anything.I only know i was almost alone for th whole evening till midnight 2plus.I walked around.. Listening songs..I walked around.. Thinking..I walked around.. Crying..I walked around.. Stressing..I walked around.. Giving up on myself...It's funny how physical pain turns numb when your heart breaks.It's funny how blood flows out of your skin when you sink th blade in.It's funny how blood tastes especially good when you're down.It's funny how th one who wants you happy is th one who made you crash.It's funny how you start panting and trembling when you start breaking down.It's funny how you start tuh feel lonely when you're done, thinking you're alone.It's funny how you cry your lungs out in front of your friends and shock them.It's funny how you stay outside loitering for hours and hours, alone.It's funny how you leave your friend without informing and make them worried.It's funny how you wanted tuh be alone when you're helpless and shag.It's funny how you can even cry for someone you know not more than a month.It's funny how you catch for breath when you can't breathe as you break down.It's funny how you feel so numb, so weird, so heartbreaking, when it's just trival matter.It's funny how you miss someone and need tht person badly but you can't find them.It's funny how you feel tht your life sucks and you're a failure in life.A failure in school ,A failure in law,A failure in filial,A failure in family,A failure in friendship,A failure in love,A failure in life,A total failure who doesn't look like a human.Tht's not me.I used tuh be so successful.I wasn't a failure.I used tuh be so obedient.I wasn't such a bastard.I used tuh ....I wasn't a ....I used tuh be a person who revenges,But i'm not now..Being too forgiving,Giving in too much.Treating th others too good.It's what we call,' Breaking our own heart tuh mend th others' one. 'I'm bleeding, yet,I'm laughing.I'm in pain, in agony,I'm laughing.I'm in misery,I'm laughing.I'm heartbroken and hurting,I'm laughing, saying ' nothing '.I need IMH.Seriously......I'm bleeding so much,I'm crying so much.Idk what's wrong with my heart.Idk what's wrong with my mind.I've been tasting blood these 3 days when i cough..Now my chest's hurting like internal injury..It's hurting so much..When i laugh, i cry, i cough, i choke.They all hurt..I'm crying till my nose bled.I'm crying till i can't breathe.I'm crying till my throat bleed.I'm crying till my chest feels so pain..Please.Save me.I'm suffocating......--P:S : I suddenly fell in love with yellow.For no reason.And i hate mushroom carbonara.I hate kinderjoy.I hate pink dolphine white grape.I hate TM.I hate my school.I HATE MY SCHOOL I HATE MY SCHOOL I HATE MY SCHOOL.I hate green tea.I hate mushrooms.I hate mirrors.I hate my phone.I hate my computer.I hate my house.I hate tht voiddeck.I hate tht voiddeck too.I hate tht bus.I hate tht person.I hate tht sentence.I hate tht person's scolding.I hate tht person's threaten.I hate tht person's voice....My heart skips a beat each time i hear it....And lastly...I hate chocolates.Whatever chocolate.Cadbury, Kinderjoy, Kinderbureno, Milkybar, KitKat, Hershey, M&Ms, Whatever fuck.People say chocolates lifts your spirits up.But why did i cry when i bite off tht fucking choco bar ?Why ?It's just a lie, a fucking lie, a stupid lie..I HATE MYSELF TUH TH FUCKING CORE.WHY AM I SUCH A FAILURE ?NABEH CHEE BAI.MIA LA FUCKER.Don't text me seriously...Or even call.I don't wanna answer..I don't wanna reply.It's th second time i'm like this.And i guess it'll be th last.I'm ending it, ONCE, AND, FOR, ALL.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Rest In Peace.
And part of me died,When i let you go..
Ain't gonna blog about today..Went school and went home.I don't want tuh mention anything.I don't want tuh think of anything.I only know i was almost alone for th whole evening till midnight 2plus.I walked around.. Listening songs..I walked around.. Thinking..I walked around.. Crying..I walked around.. Stressing..I walked around.. Giving up on myself...It's funny how physical pain turns numb when your heart breaks.It's funny how blood flows out of your skin when you sink th blade in.It's funny how blood tastes especially good when you're down.It's funny how th one who wants you happy is th one who made you crash.It's funny how you start panting and trembling when you start breaking down.It's funny how you start tuh feel lonely when you're done, thinking you're alone.It's funny how you cry your lungs out in front of your friends and shock them.It's funny how you stay outside loitering for hours and hours, alone.It's funny how you leave your friend without informing and make them worried.It's funny how you wanted tuh be alone when you're helpless and shag.It's funny how you can even cry for someone you know not more than a month.It's funny how you catch for breath when you can't breathe as you break down.It's funny how you feel so numb, so weird, so heartbreaking, when it's just trival matter.It's funny how you miss someone and need tht person badly but you can't find them.It's funny how you feel tht your life sucks and you're a failure in life.A failure in school ,A failure in law,A failure in filial,A failure in family,A failure in friendship,A failure in love,A failure in life,A total failure who doesn't look like a human.Tht's not me.I used tuh be so successful.I wasn't a failure.I used tuh be so obedient.I wasn't such a bastard.I used tuh ....I wasn't a ....I used tuh be a person who revenges,But i'm not now..Being too forgiving,Giving in too much.Treating th others too good.It's what we call,' Breaking our own heart tuh mend th others' one. 'I'm bleeding, yet,I'm laughing.I'm in pain, in agony,I'm laughing.I'm in misery,I'm laughing.I'm heartbroken and hurting,I'm laughing, saying ' nothing '.I need IMH.Seriously......I'm bleeding so much,I'm crying so much.Idk what's wrong with my heart.Idk what's wrong with my mind.I've been tasting blood these 3 days when i cough..Now my chest's hurting like internal injury..It's hurting so much..When i laugh, i cry, i cough, i choke.They all hurt..I'm crying till my nose bled.I'm crying till i can't breathe.I'm crying till my throat bleed.I'm crying till my chest feels so pain..Please.Save me.I'm suffocating......--P:S : I suddenly fell in love with yellow.For no reason.And i hate mushroom carbonara.I hate kinderjoy.I hate pink dolphine white grape.I hate TM.I hate my school.I HATE MY SCHOOL I HATE MY SCHOOL I HATE MY SCHOOL.I hate green tea.I hate mushrooms.I hate mirrors.I hate my phone.I hate my computer.I hate my house.I hate tht voiddeck.I hate tht voiddeck too.I hate tht bus.I hate tht person.I hate tht sentence.I hate tht person's scolding.I hate tht person's threaten.I hate tht person's voice....My heart skips a beat each time i hear it....And lastly...I hate chocolates.Whatever chocolate.Cadbury, Kinderjoy, Kinderbureno, Milkybar, KitKat, Hershey, M&Ms, Whatever fuck.People say chocolates lifts your spirits up.But why did i cry when i bite off tht fucking choco bar ?Why ?It's just a lie, a fucking lie, a stupid lie..I HATE MYSELF TUH TH FUCKING CORE.WHY AM I SUCH A FAILURE ?NABEH CHEE BAI.MIA LA FUCKER.Don't text me seriously...Or even call.I don't wanna answer..I don't wanna reply.It's th second time i'm like this.And i guess it'll be th last.I'm ending it, ONCE, AND, FOR, ALL.
Ain't gonna blog about today..Went school and went home.I don't want tuh mention anything.I don't want tuh think of anything.I only know i was almost alone for th whole evening till midnight 2plus.I walked around.. Listening songs..I walked around.. Thinking..I walked around.. Crying..I walked around.. Stressing..I walked around.. Giving up on myself...It's funny how physical pain turns numb when your heart breaks.It's funny how blood flows out of your skin when you sink th blade in.It's funny how blood tastes especially good when you're down.It's funny how th one who wants you happy is th one who made you crash.It's funny how you start panting and trembling when you start breaking down.It's funny how you start tuh feel lonely when you're done, thinking you're alone.It's funny how you cry your lungs out in front of your friends and shock them.It's funny how you stay outside loitering for hours and hours, alone.It's funny how you leave your friend without informing and make them worried.It's funny how you wanted tuh be alone when you're helpless and shag.It's funny how you can even cry for someone you know not more than a month.It's funny how you catch for breath when you can't breathe as you break down.It's funny how you feel so numb, so weird, so heartbreaking, when it's just trival matter.It's funny how you miss someone and need tht person badly but you can't find them.It's funny how you feel tht your life sucks and you're a failure in life.A failure in school ,A failure in law,A failure in filial,A failure in family,A failure in friendship,A failure in love,A failure in life,A total failure who doesn't look like a human.Tht's not me.I used tuh be so successful.I wasn't a failure.I used tuh be so obedient.I wasn't such a bastard.I used tuh ....I wasn't a ....I used tuh be a person who revenges,But i'm not now..Being too forgiving,Giving in too much.Treating th others too good.It's what we call,' Breaking our own heart tuh mend th others' one. 'I'm bleeding, yet,I'm laughing.I'm in pain, in agony,I'm laughing.I'm in misery,I'm laughing.I'm heartbroken and hurting,I'm laughing, saying ' nothing '.I need IMH.Seriously......I'm bleeding so much,I'm crying so much.Idk what's wrong with my heart.Idk what's wrong with my mind.I've been tasting blood these 3 days when i cough..Now my chest's hurting like internal injury..It's hurting so much..When i laugh, i cry, i cough, i choke.They all hurt..I'm crying till my nose bled.I'm crying till i can't breathe.I'm crying till my throat bleed.I'm crying till my chest feels so pain..Please.Save me.I'm suffocating......--P:S : I suddenly fell in love with yellow.For no reason.And i hate mushroom carbonara.I hate kinderjoy.I hate pink dolphine white grape.I hate TM.I hate my school.I HATE MY SCHOOL I HATE MY SCHOOL I HATE MY SCHOOL.I hate green tea.I hate mushrooms.I hate mirrors.I hate my phone.I hate my computer.I hate my house.I hate tht voiddeck.I hate tht voiddeck too.I hate tht bus.I hate tht person.I hate tht sentence.I hate tht person's scolding.I hate tht person's threaten.I hate tht person's voice....My heart skips a beat each time i hear it....And lastly...I hate chocolates.Whatever chocolate.Cadbury, Kinderjoy, Kinderbureno, Milkybar, KitKat, Hershey, M&Ms, Whatever fuck.People say chocolates lifts your spirits up.But why did i cry when i bite off tht fucking choco bar ?Why ?It's just a lie, a fucking lie, a stupid lie..I HATE MYSELF TUH TH FUCKING CORE.WHY AM I SUCH A FAILURE ?NABEH CHEE BAI.MIA LA FUCKER.Don't text me seriously...Or even call.I don't wanna answer..I don't wanna reply.It's th second time i'm like this.And i guess it'll be th last.I'm ending it, ONCE, AND, FOR, ALL.
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