Sometimes I wonder,Why did I exist.Why did all these happened.Why did each and everyone of you appeared.Why did each and everyone of you came intuh my life,Or was it me th went intuh your life ?I don't know, I don't understand.Why am I borned this way,With this heart,This face,This attitude,This character,This, life.This, everything.Idk.I'm so bloody pissed off.With everything.No not tht I'm unhappy with my family.Of cos not.It's perfect tuh me.But dy'know ?I've so many shit happening in life tuh me.Some even gives me stress.I'm.. hiding and escaping.Pressing and pushing everything away from me.Pressing them all down, deep down.Hoping one day I just forget everything..I'm returning tuh school.Yes and I gotta stay back EVERY BLOODY DAY.For 2 hours.So make it like ..Monday ; 4.45 dismiss. Make until finish, 5.Tuesday ; 4.15, around 4.30.Wednesday ; 3.45, around 4.Thursday ; 3.45, around 4.Friday ; 2.45, around 3.If I'm allowed tuh eat thn go study,All around 15 - 30 minutes later dismiss loh -.-Thn on 1 of those days, I forgot/dk which day.Need stay back for HMT lessons.Idk how tuh sort my time o.oHeng no CCA uhs.If not can die.Everyday, go home, eat, rest awhile, tuition till at night.No time limit.Cuz as you know, mother's my tuition teacher -.-Left with 2 weeks plus as Eunice said.Like WHAT TH FUCK ?I'm gonna fail it.But whatever, I'm gonna do my best.Ain't I stress enough ?So many fucking things.Friends, love, school, family.Th 4 biggest factor is crashing on me again.How woo woo wow wow is it ?Each and everyone of them is fucking serious.Idk what tuh do.God, I'm dying -.-I know it's weird tuh see me saying this but,I broke down just now.Was close tuh tears about everything,Plus issue number 1, 2, and 3,Thn issue number 4 of th night came up, right in my face.Thanks.Broke down and stoned.-_- Wtf siah. LOLS.Thanks Dansen, for listening, again.Without your listening ear,Idk what'd I do..Thanks, stupid dinosaur.--I've been learning th hard way since 21 months ago.Isn't it enough ?Never enough ?I've learnt tuh be independent.I've learnt tuh forget and let go.I've learnt tuh cry on my own.I've learnt tuh give how much I receive.I've learnt tuh forgive and forget.I've learnt tuh be a good friend.Of all tht I've learnt, I forgot 1 thing.I forgot th feeling of love.What's love ?I lost tht feeling so strong.Tht.. Yearning for someone so bad.I can't even differentiate love and friendship.No I can't.Maybe now tht I felt it once again,But I fell deeper.Yes I convinced everyone I've moved on.And obviously people will think it's good for me.But hell no, I rather I've stayed in th last misery.Cos this is worser than ever.It's giving me more stress than I used tuh have.I'm doing th same thing as I am before.And what ? It hurts th same, just more badly.I don't dare tuh love anymore ever since thn.Till I accidentally fell in this bloody crap -.-What now ?Nabeh.Fucking piss with myself sia !!! -_-It's like, more pain than th previous one and,Wtf man, plus th old wounds,Doesn't it hurts more and more ?Imagine you cut yourself deeper on a deep wound.Isn't it damn fucking cruel and mad ?It's as good as almost chopping yourself up.Argh.Whatever.And everyone's saying tht,I've got split personality.I guess I need IMH's keesiao department uh.No longer th drug one ._.Well I didn't need it in th first place.Eff you mr ong -.-Suck my dick, and go bang wall.So yeah..I have depression too.I thought I was over it, but I realised, no.Isn't it cool ?Depression at 14.LOL.Not only tht,With a happy, and almost perfect family.Weird la wth LOLS.Kay whatever, I'm super pissed at myself -.-LMAO.SUCK MY DICK COCKERS !YOU TWATS ! RAR .
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Th reason ?
Tell me th reason,Why my existance now.
Sometimes I wonder,Why did I exist.Why did all these happened.Why did each and everyone of you appeared.Why did each and everyone of you came intuh my life,Or was it me th went intuh your life ?I don't know, I don't understand.Why am I borned this way,With this heart,This face,This attitude,This character,This, life.This, everything.Idk.I'm so bloody pissed off.With everything.No not tht I'm unhappy with my family.Of cos not.It's perfect tuh me.But dy'know ?I've so many shit happening in life tuh me.Some even gives me stress.I'm.. hiding and escaping.Pressing and pushing everything away from me.Pressing them all down, deep down.Hoping one day I just forget everything..I'm returning tuh school.Yes and I gotta stay back EVERY BLOODY DAY.For 2 hours.So make it like ..Monday ; 4.45 dismiss. Make until finish, 5.Tuesday ; 4.15, around 4.30.Wednesday ; 3.45, around 4.Thursday ; 3.45, around 4.Friday ; 2.45, around 3.If I'm allowed tuh eat thn go study,All around 15 - 30 minutes later dismiss loh -.-Thn on 1 of those days, I forgot/dk which day.Need stay back for HMT lessons.Idk how tuh sort my time o.oHeng no CCA uhs.If not can die.Everyday, go home, eat, rest awhile, tuition till at night.No time limit.Cuz as you know, mother's my tuition teacher -.-Left with 2 weeks plus as Eunice said.Like WHAT TH FUCK ?I'm gonna fail it.But whatever, I'm gonna do my best.Ain't I stress enough ?So many fucking things.Friends, love, school, family.Th 4 biggest factor is crashing on me again.How woo woo wow wow is it ?Each and everyone of them is fucking serious.Idk what tuh do.God, I'm dying -.-I know it's weird tuh see me saying this but,I broke down just now.Was close tuh tears about everything,Plus issue number 1, 2, and 3,Thn issue number 4 of th night came up, right in my face.Thanks.Broke down and stoned.-_- Wtf siah. LOLS.Thanks Dansen, for listening, again.Without your listening ear,Idk what'd I do..Thanks, stupid dinosaur.--I've been learning th hard way since 21 months ago.Isn't it enough ?Never enough ?I've learnt tuh be independent.I've learnt tuh forget and let go.I've learnt tuh cry on my own.I've learnt tuh give how much I receive.I've learnt tuh forgive and forget.I've learnt tuh be a good friend.Of all tht I've learnt, I forgot 1 thing.I forgot th feeling of love.What's love ?I lost tht feeling so strong.Tht.. Yearning for someone so bad.I can't even differentiate love and friendship.No I can't.Maybe now tht I felt it once again,But I fell deeper.Yes I convinced everyone I've moved on.And obviously people will think it's good for me.But hell no, I rather I've stayed in th last misery.Cos this is worser than ever.It's giving me more stress than I used tuh have.I'm doing th same thing as I am before.And what ? It hurts th same, just more badly.I don't dare tuh love anymore ever since thn.Till I accidentally fell in this bloody crap -.-What now ?Nabeh.Fucking piss with myself sia !!! -_-It's like, more pain than th previous one and,Wtf man, plus th old wounds,Doesn't it hurts more and more ?Imagine you cut yourself deeper on a deep wound.Isn't it damn fucking cruel and mad ?It's as good as almost chopping yourself up.Argh.Whatever.And everyone's saying tht,I've got split personality.I guess I need IMH's keesiao department uh.No longer th drug one ._.Well I didn't need it in th first place.Eff you mr ong -.-Suck my dick, and go bang wall.So yeah..I have depression too.I thought I was over it, but I realised, no.Isn't it cool ?Depression at 14.LOL.Not only tht,With a happy, and almost perfect family.Weird la wth LOLS.Kay whatever, I'm super pissed at myself -.-LMAO.SUCK MY DICK COCKERS !YOU TWATS ! RAR .
Sometimes I wonder,Why did I exist.Why did all these happened.Why did each and everyone of you appeared.Why did each and everyone of you came intuh my life,Or was it me th went intuh your life ?I don't know, I don't understand.Why am I borned this way,With this heart,This face,This attitude,This character,This, life.This, everything.Idk.I'm so bloody pissed off.With everything.No not tht I'm unhappy with my family.Of cos not.It's perfect tuh me.But dy'know ?I've so many shit happening in life tuh me.Some even gives me stress.I'm.. hiding and escaping.Pressing and pushing everything away from me.Pressing them all down, deep down.Hoping one day I just forget everything..I'm returning tuh school.Yes and I gotta stay back EVERY BLOODY DAY.For 2 hours.So make it like ..Monday ; 4.45 dismiss. Make until finish, 5.Tuesday ; 4.15, around 4.30.Wednesday ; 3.45, around 4.Thursday ; 3.45, around 4.Friday ; 2.45, around 3.If I'm allowed tuh eat thn go study,All around 15 - 30 minutes later dismiss loh -.-Thn on 1 of those days, I forgot/dk which day.Need stay back for HMT lessons.Idk how tuh sort my time o.oHeng no CCA uhs.If not can die.Everyday, go home, eat, rest awhile, tuition till at night.No time limit.Cuz as you know, mother's my tuition teacher -.-Left with 2 weeks plus as Eunice said.Like WHAT TH FUCK ?I'm gonna fail it.But whatever, I'm gonna do my best.Ain't I stress enough ?So many fucking things.Friends, love, school, family.Th 4 biggest factor is crashing on me again.How woo woo wow wow is it ?Each and everyone of them is fucking serious.Idk what tuh do.God, I'm dying -.-I know it's weird tuh see me saying this but,I broke down just now.Was close tuh tears about everything,Plus issue number 1, 2, and 3,Thn issue number 4 of th night came up, right in my face.Thanks.Broke down and stoned.-_- Wtf siah. LOLS.Thanks Dansen, for listening, again.Without your listening ear,Idk what'd I do..Thanks, stupid dinosaur.--I've been learning th hard way since 21 months ago.Isn't it enough ?Never enough ?I've learnt tuh be independent.I've learnt tuh forget and let go.I've learnt tuh cry on my own.I've learnt tuh give how much I receive.I've learnt tuh forgive and forget.I've learnt tuh be a good friend.Of all tht I've learnt, I forgot 1 thing.I forgot th feeling of love.What's love ?I lost tht feeling so strong.Tht.. Yearning for someone so bad.I can't even differentiate love and friendship.No I can't.Maybe now tht I felt it once again,But I fell deeper.Yes I convinced everyone I've moved on.And obviously people will think it's good for me.But hell no, I rather I've stayed in th last misery.Cos this is worser than ever.It's giving me more stress than I used tuh have.I'm doing th same thing as I am before.And what ? It hurts th same, just more badly.I don't dare tuh love anymore ever since thn.Till I accidentally fell in this bloody crap -.-What now ?Nabeh.Fucking piss with myself sia !!! -_-It's like, more pain than th previous one and,Wtf man, plus th old wounds,Doesn't it hurts more and more ?Imagine you cut yourself deeper on a deep wound.Isn't it damn fucking cruel and mad ?It's as good as almost chopping yourself up.Argh.Whatever.And everyone's saying tht,I've got split personality.I guess I need IMH's keesiao department uh.No longer th drug one ._.Well I didn't need it in th first place.Eff you mr ong -.-Suck my dick, and go bang wall.So yeah..I have depression too.I thought I was over it, but I realised, no.Isn't it cool ?Depression at 14.LOL.Not only tht,With a happy, and almost perfect family.Weird la wth LOLS.Kay whatever, I'm super pissed at myself -.-LMAO.SUCK MY DICK COCKERS !YOU TWATS ! RAR .
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