Showing posts with label bullshit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bullshit. Show all posts

Monday, August 16, 2010

Jack Buser and the Bullshit Factory


Recently I decided to go over some articles looking for funny Jack Moments. Let's see what ol' Electrobrain has said about Home, and decipher what the reality is.

From an IGN article:

We've got two announcements, the first of which is our relationship with Codename. It's a new company founded by some of the same folks who started IndieCade, which is the Sundance of the games industry, if you will.
Translated: "We started a partnership with a cheap developer who is trying to get out there, and we're using them as a last ditch effort to save Home since my poor business decisions have destroyed what Home could have been."
One of the core tenets of Home is that we're looking for good teams
Hey Jack, you might want to start by replacing yourself.
We have 14 million users worldwide.
No, you don't.
They can also make games for the Midway. Have you been to the Midway yet?
For those who aren't aware, the midway is plagued with bugs. These include bugs that literally steal your money.
Calendar first quarter revenues are up 3 times from the same period last year, so revenue growth is fantastic.
Oh Jack, you adorable liar.
IGN: How much money does that actually account for?
Jack Buser: We don't say estimates.
Translation: "We make exactly dick off of this program"
The PlayStation Home user is the most engaged, most hardcore PlayStation 3 user.
Yes, because when you ask hardcore gamers about home they giggle while furiously clapping their hands and jumping up and down.
Sometimes we'll see an article that has an inaccuracy in it and then you see the comments section. You'll see the users really rush to defend it, they're really passionate about it.
And as we all know, Home zealots are the epitome of intelligence. Just to be fair, there are still people defending the Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon which was canceled 16 years ago!

We really have two pillar strategies with Home this year, the first is this idea that Home is a social games platform.
This is one of the dodgiest answers ever given. That's like someone asking "What is going to be new with peanut butter this year?" and someone answering "Well, this year our plan is to concentrate our strategy on peanuts." Lemme see, as I'm aware you can only play a handful of the most basic games (Such as chess) "socially" with other players. Does this mean they're going to actually invest in Home? Jack, did you trade in that trust fund to support Home, since you pissed away it's budget on stupid revamps you didn't use?

IGN: Is there an official stance about maybe one day taking some of the simpler games to Facebook?

Jack Buser: Can you imagine?

IGN: Yeah, I just did.
That just made me cry laughing. Owned by IGN, the McDonalds of gaming news.

Our philosophy is to get the best and brightest developers who are passionate about these platforms.
I'm sorry Jack, I'm sure they misquoted you when you said that. Let me correct that: "Our philosophy is to get the obscurest and cheapest developers who are passionate about these platforms."
I don't think we'll ever be a hundred
understatement of the century.

Something as fundamental to Home as a shared social space is unknown on other platforms. That is allowing us as a company to really get steps, if not miles, ahead of the competition.
Which is why the PS3 is the lowest selling current generation console:



Oh Jack, Jack, Jack. There's no life I know, to compare with pure imagination.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Extremely Unlikely

This amused me, since one of our followers posted it so nicely. Remember back on the Playstation Blog when Jack Buser stated:

Rest assured that we hear your requests loud and clear (I personally use Home and read the forums daily)
Well someone linked me to his forum account, and it states:
Date Last Visited: 10-30-2009 11:03 PM
Riiiiight.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Home - Screwing Contest Winners!


Back when they had the celebrity look alike contest, they gave the following hoodie as a reward. Sadly, if you didn't win that contest, you missed out.

UNTIL TODAY!

If I remember correctly, this is the male jacket people won if they won the celebrity contest:

So why is it legitimately being put in the mall?
Unless this is some random screwup, the people who won the hoodie should be pretty angry.

Well, are those contest winners angry? Here's what one of them had to say:

I WAS ONE OF THE WINNERS AND NOW MY HOODIE IS WORTHLESS???
To answer him: Yes. Worthless. For other folks, learn a lesson. NEVER PARTICIPATE IN ANY HOME CONTESTS. They'll likely not work, and they will sell your reward later.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Daaaaaaamn buuuurn

Why, why, why don't people alert me when such gems are posted?? Well, someone refered me to it yesyerday and asked if they could use Home-Watch as a way to respond to it without moderation censoring it. I thought it was going to be a simple thing, but the email completely MAULED Mr_Lochwood. (I've colour coded the comments in red to make it easier to read.)

thanks for giving me a chance to post this, I added my comments to it, the original topic again is here: http://boardsus.playstation.com/playstation/board/message?board.id=ps3home&thread.id=876134

thanx n' keep it up!

Hello all,

I just wanted to take a moment to share some stuff with you about myself, life and my time on Home. I am a 43 year old disabled man. I have Agoraphobia, PTSD, ADD, and a host of anxiety disorders. [No, you are a governmental leech who uses your lack of social skills as an excused to suck the teet of social security which the rest of us pay for] I am married to Mrs Lochwood(not our real last name) and have been for 13 years. We have 9 wonderful children - some are from different marriages. [Great, not only are you and the missus stupider then sin, but you've spit out a litter of offspring to pass your emotional and psychological issues onto. Terrific.] I am an ordained minister [Sorry, that means about jack shit these days. Anyone with an internet connection and a few minutes can become LEGALLY ORDAINED IN A MATTER OF MINUTES.Further info available at: http://www.themonastery.org/] and have played guitar for over 32 years. [So has Eric Clapton, and he's not a self-righteous douchebag.]

Now as an agoraphobic(Agoraphobia Defined) along with the other disorders I have, I have not been able to leave my house for more than 2 hours at a time in at least 10 years. [Oh boo hoo, cry us all a river! "I'm scared to go outside, I have a disorder!"] And the 2 hour stints have only happened maybe once or twice a year in that time. Now I am not looking for your sympathy here. [yes you are] I am simply trying to help people to understand why I use Home so much and why I am so dedicated to it. [You're dedicated to it because it's one spot where you have some type of control or power, because in real life you're an emotionally destroyed welfare sponge.] It is the only world I have ever found were I am not afraid of people or conversing with them and that means a lot to me. I was very very horribly abused as a child - I will not get into the details here, but cerfice it to say my childhood was more full of horrific abuse than any good times. [Oh no, child abuse. You're one of a very rare breed there, no one in this world could ever recover from that. Except maybe everyone who isn't a whiny crybaby shutin. Being abused is no excuse for anything. Ask Oprah and the years of molestation she endured. And she's richer then anyone you'll ever encounter] Now, I now nobody has a perfect childhood and that we have all suffered and whatnot, that is not what I am talking about. The nicest memory of abuse I can give you(if calling it nice is even at all appropriate) is spending my lunch hours at school either having my head dunked in a toilet or being stuffed in a garbage can - and mind you that is the nicest non sexually abusing thing I could think of to give you as an example. [It's often stated that those who are bullied become bullies later in life. I guess you could be added to that case study]

However now me and the Mrs are finding Home and the forums to be not nearly as welcoming as they used to be. I have been accused of being and elitist and of following leadership blindly as if seeking some kind of personal glory or special treatment or whatever, and it is entirely untrue. [Actually it's 100% true. You have a place in a social heirarchy, you're losing it, and people don't respect you anymore. So you cling to the nearest HCM nutsack for dear life] I nor my wife do the things we do on home for personal gain. Frankly I am a bit confused as to how our hosting events freely for the whole public(we have never had an event that was private or in a club - always in public so all could attend) out of our own free time and giving away $10 psn cards and other prizes at the events is looking for self gain, but I guess giving of oneself seems to appear as selfish to many. We do what we do because Home has provided for us a place where we can go out together and dance, meet new people have a social life that we could not have otherwise. [You don't do any of it out of selflessness. You do it because it makes people pay attention to you, and makes people think of you in a positive light. Basically you bribe people to be your friend]

I know many of you will say well get outside, get over it - It is the past - and that is fine. I expect it. Not everyone understands disabilities and for that I am thankful. I would rather not have the understanding of it that I do, so I do not expect others to understand or even at times to try. [I understand you, you're very, very basic] But I would like to say, it is beyond my control. I am disabled - meaning unable - It is not that I do not wish to go outside it is that I can not. [I, myself deal with 4 different personality & psychological disorders. I won't name them because I'm not a sympathy begging failbaby. My life is difficult to control, but I do. Because I work at it. I work six days a week, go out twice a week with friends, play home, manage this blog, and I still have enough left in me to take a shit on a bitchass whiner like you.] The last time I did for any length of time it landed me in the hospital. [And there goes some more of my tax money.] That is neither good for me or my family who by the way understands my disability and supports me 100%. I am also allergic to almost every medication known to man, so taking medication has not been very successful in helping treat the situation either. [well at least we get a tax break there.] I have however spent many years in counseling and currently my councilor feels that Home is a wonderful place for me and encourages my use of it. [After years and years of Psychologists and psychiatrists saying MMO materials when used for long periods of times by addictive personalities is dangerous if not deadly, you found a clinical professional that disagrees. Kudos, shoot us their number, we need more quacks that'll fight to stop politically ambitious congressmen.]

I say all of this because I am at wits end. My wife has been crying for days now due to the constant harassment of many who claim to be doing what is best for Home. [Really? Crying. Over a virtual world. Are you sure you're not the only mental case in your household?] The normal harassers, we have learned to deal with they come and go and are just a part of Home - what would we do without the occasional noob dancing on us - but it is not that that we have a problem with it is the people who insist we are one person - my wife and I are not one person [You know, I never thought of it like that. Two mentally defunct people in the same house at the same time? I mean, I have seen one person operate multiple PS3s on home at once before, but now I have the idea you might be one of them.] - it is the people who insist we are doing all of this to harm Home, even stating that it is due to people like the Mrs and I that Home has so many problems. Well, all we can say is we are not here to harm Home and we do not wish to be elitists or above anyone; [Really. You and your "wife" and your small little band of folks were some of the very first people on home. I didn't have a keyboard, I was dressed in blues, I asked all the same dumb questions. You treated me with mockery, insult, and malice. You engaged me in an insult battle, which I slayed you at. Your retort was to batch report me with your wife & cronies. That was my first Home account, and it was suspended. My first day on Home. Now normally I would have brushed it off, and for a while I did. Until I started hearing from everyone that the Lochwoods have the moderation teams balls on their chins, and they harass, insult, mock, and otherwise irritate other members of the Home community. You sir, aren't special. You're the same type of dumbass elitist trolls you see anywhere else on the internet. It's just no one had the ability to confront you, because of your super-sensitive feelings and your connections. Now people have that outlet.]

however, we will not be chased out either. We are here to stay and if people wish to continue to harass us with such foolishness well let them. I have had enough. I have been harassed my whole life so frankly I guess it is just par for the course, and all it shows is the ignorance and pettiness of those who attack us. [Actually, if you want to get down to technicalities, that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm not taking your shit, and other folks aren't either anymore. "Boo hoo, I've been a victim my whole life." You're a victim because you view everything as an attack. Now, in the case of this retort, what I'm writing is very much an attack. Well earned too. But don't pretend you're some big martyr, and everyone is after you. That comes off childish, and very transparent.] Our only wish is to give back to a program that has given us a new outlook on life, and to the community that at one time accepted us when no one else would.

Happy Home Days to you all always!

[And that is exactly what Home-Watch has been doing. Giving back to something it loves by giving people the freedom from the oppressive censorship and puppeteering that goes on on a day to day basis. And out of it all, you write this incredibly long rant, and you still come off sounding like a pompous dickhead. And for what? To let everyone know how sad other folks are making you? Tough shit. YOU ARE FUCKING 43 YEARS OLD. Go fucking raise your 9 kids. Or do you tell them "Sorry kids, dinner is going to be late, mommy and daddy have to play make believe TV show with a teenage girl.

Bottom line, you are a complete tool]

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

You're Not Allowed Here!


Sent to me via email, here's another example of something that should be taken care of by the moderation staff, and is not. tyboogie2010 seems to think he owns part of home to himself.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Plagiarism - Only From the Elite


A few days ago I mentioned a member's thread getting shut down for a BS reason: Sorry, you're just not good enough. They attempted to play it off saying it was a "game." Only Forumtroll kissasses can have that privilege. Then Reverend_Maggot posted the exact same thread, with the exact same content, without any credit to the person he stole it from. He even has the churchbells to make the next comment:

Yeah, this one is kinda like an Official Game Thread. Game Threads in the PS forums are allowed only by MVPs and mods and such, so nearly all the other times, the other threads will be lock/deleted as a game thread or being off-topic or something like that.

I'm hoping to create other game threads later on down the road depending on how well this one goes. Something to bring some fun and sense of community here in the Home Forum!

The f'ing gall of that guy. You ever needed any other evidence of how some users are favored, here it is. Hey Reverend, you remember that one commandment? Number 8? Thou shall not steal? Stop being a hypocrite and give credit where credit is due.

And god forbid someone attempt to take credit. The author/creator of the concept said the following: (And nothing more)

This thead looks familiar...

Which Jim77, with his lips puckered like his browneye, came directly to it's defense:

But is set up by an MVP so is allowed.

Dont flame / bait please

Then it vanished. The whole thing was deleted. Outstanding, just when I think my point hasn't been driven home enough, the ammo truck pulls up and literally hands me more.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Sorry, you're just not good enough.


This post here was created as form of community bonding measure. It made it 13 pages before being shut down. According to the person who closed it, CronoEX:

There have been many concerns recently over forum games (ie. game trivia, collaborative stories, etc.). We realize that these types of things are fun to many members and certainly don't want to eliminate them completely, but at the same time we need to take steps to make sure that they stay on the right course and don't degrade into pointless droning. (Homewatch note: at no point did this forum post get that way. The excuse is without any foundation) At this time, we'd like to restrict the privilege of creating such games to MVPs. We will work with them on ways to create games that add value to the community and stay meaningful, and yet are fun at the same time. This includes avoiding games that only elicit one-word responses, that don't create any discussion, etc. If you have a neat idea for a forum game, feel free to mention it to one of your friendly MVPs. As I said though, this privilege is reserved only to MVPs, so we're asking that non-MVP members please refrain from creating such games on the forums. We appreciate your cooperation! Thank you
Wow, that's a steaming pile of it if I ever heard it. I wonder which suckup asked for it? Nice to know even the forum admins stop by to ruin everyone's good time and support their elite gestapo.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Sorry, My friends don't like your post.

I'm going to have to file this under the "bullshit" file. A mod by the name of shungokusatsu has recently decided that identical posts differ greatly when written by different people. From the following sent to me:

"I posted a few threads in the Playstation Home General forums. These took the form of comics describing my experiences in Home mean to illustrate why I think Home rules. It seems a few users had a big problem with my posts, namely virus-2049 and Jim777.

My final post, relating an experience I had in the Fight Night space with some users, was abruptly whisked away to what is called the Playstation Creative forum. I had never heard of such a forum. It has no connection to Home whatsoever.

The forum moderator who did this is shungokusatsu. I emailed the moderator, telling him that his actions didn't make sense and I found humiliating. My threads were about Home and should have been in the general forums, but shungokusatsu replied, when I asked:

"The Creations board is the correct locations for fan fics. You'll see there's other similar threads there as well."

I pointed out that I was puzzled because I posted four other similar threads, but only the final one was moved to the Creations forum and only after several users questioned it being there. shungokusatsu replied:

"All the content on the Creations board is and must be PlayStation related; it's strictly for PlayStation games and content. The thread being moved has absolutely nothing to do with users. It was moved to be placed in the correct location."

I again ask why only the final post was moved and not all of mine, or all of the other comic based threads I've seen (i.e. by Lil Blue Eyes), the mod replied:

"We've moved several similar threads like yours. Just take a look at the Creations board."

I asked him a third time why only one of mine was moved and not all of them. And the reason why I'm persuing this issue is because, if it's a "general policy," then it should apply equally to all mine and other's posts. The way it was handled, with only the final one being moved, looked like the mod responding to a personal request from certain favorite users. So, he replied to me:

"Weren't brought to my attention until you told me. It' also very likely they're no longer on the front or first few pages."

I finally confronted him about his evasiveness and told him that I'm entitled to an answer to my question. I put a lot of work into my posts and am hurt, angry and humiliated they are moved to a forum where nobody will likely see them. His response is:

"No, it means they're less likely to be viewed or reported to our attention. Most users frequent the front page, not the older ones. I've gone ahead and moved them since you've brought them to my attention."

shungokusatsu moved all my posts, which are about Home, from the Home forum to the Playstation General Forum. I tried to be more involved with the community on the official forums. But it seems I'm a threat to the ego-infused elite posters on that forum.

Humiliated even further. I read a post in the general forums today here: http://boardsus.playstation.com/playstation/board/message?board.id=ps3home&thread.id=868031

I asked shungokusatsu why mine were removed yet this one remains, he replied:

"Those are pictures of Home and an event, not a fanfic or user created story. The only content you had moved to the Creations board were the fanfics."

I pointed out to him that my posts were not fanfics, but were visual narratives of my experiences in Home. I told him bluntly that he's lying. He responded:

"A narrative story, story content falls under the Creations boards. You're more than welcome to confirm this with the head administrator, CronoEx, if you feel I'm lying."

Again, there is no difference between my posts and this one.
On behalf of the Home-Watch Community I'd like to thank the author for submitting her story. It took a lot of bravery to show everyone how she was singled out and humiliated by a part of the moderation staff. Kudos to you miss.