Jack Buser and the Bullshit Factory

Recently I decided to go over some articles looking for funny Jack Moments. Let's see what ol' Electrobrain has said about Home, and decipher what the reality is.

From an IGN article:

We've got two announcements, the first of which is our relationship with Codename. It's a new company founded by some of the same folks who started IndieCade, which is the Sundance of the games industry, if you will.

Translated: "We started a partnership with a cheap developer who is trying to get out there, and we're using them as a last ditch effort to save Home since my poor business decisions have destroyed what Home could have been."

One of the core tenets of Home is that we're looking for good teams

Hey Jack, you might want to start by replacing yourself.

We have 14 million users worldwide.

No, you don't.

They can also make games for the Midway. Have you been to the Midway yet?

For those who aren't aware, the midway is plagued with bugs. These include bugs that literally steal your money.

Calendar first quarter revenues are up 3 times from the same period last year, so revenue growth is fantastic.

Oh Jack, you adorable liar.

IGN: How much money does that actually account for?
Jack Buser: We don't say estimates.

Translation: "We make exactly dick off of this program"

The PlayStation Home user is the most engaged, most hardcore PlayStation 3 user.

Yes, because when you ask hardcore gamers about home they giggle while furiously clapping their hands and jumping up and down.

Sometimes we'll see an article that has an inaccuracy in it and then you see the comments section. You'll see the users really rush to defend it, they're really passionate about it.

And as we all know, Home zealots are the epitome of intelligence. Just to be fair, there are still people defending the Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon which was canceled 16 years ago!

We really have two pillar strategies with Home this year, the first is this idea that Home is a social games platform.

This is one of the dodgiest answers ever given. That's like someone asking "What is going to be new with peanut butter this year?" and someone answering "Well, this year our plan is to concentrate our strategy on peanuts." Lemme see, as I'm aware you can only play a handful of the most basic games (Such as chess) "socially" with other players. Does this mean they're going to actually invest in Home? Jack, did you trade in that trust fund to support Home, since you pissed away it's budget on stupid revamps you didn't use?

IGN: Is there an official stance about maybe one day taking some of the simpler games to Facebook?

Jack Buser: Can you imagine?

IGN: Yeah, I just did.

That just made me cry laughing. Owned by IGN, the McDonalds of gaming news.

Our philosophy is to get the best and brightest developers who are passionate about these platforms.

I'm sorry Jack, I'm sure they misquoted you when you said that. Let me correct that: "Our philosophy is to get the obscurest and cheapest developers who are passionate about these platforms."

I don't think we'll ever be a hundred

understatement of the century.

Something as fundamental to Home as a shared social space is unknown on other platforms. That is allowing us as a company to really get steps, if not miles, ahead of the competition.

Which is why the PS3 is the lowest selling current generation console:



Oh Jack, Jack, Jack. There's no life I know, to compare with pure imagination.